Ⅲ— Beneath the Ashes

The air was thick

with the surrender of life itself.

A heavy fog quietly

stole everything into its blur.

I could barely hold on

to the fading edge of my own existence.

Something buried deep within me

kept pushing toward the surface,

desperate to break through.

The body that had once been alive

trembled beneath the silence,

speaking through anger alone.

I wanted to be angry.

I lived inside meaningless rage.

Only fierce waves of feeling

tearing through me

could remind me I was still here,

could keep me bound to this world.

Why am I so empty?

Why can I not breathe?

Where has my body disappeared to?

I am losing the part of me

that keeps me me.

I need to return to life.

３　灰の下

重厚な霧が

全てを有耶無耶のうちに掠め取り

存在の淵は、掴もうにも、頼りなく

今にも突然姿を消しそうで

激しい鼓動と振動が、

鉄でできた体の中で

大きく音を鳴らし続けていた


散り積もった灰の上では


誰かが、笑いながら

ザクザクと足音を立てて通り過ぎていく


耳を塞いで、鳴り続ける不協和音

体を縮めてじっと待つ

空っぽで　

喧しく

呼吸が見当たらない

わたしは、生命に戻りたい